Forgiveness & Regret

I am thankful that my God forgives all and forgets all when He is asked for forgiveness.
Over the past year I have done much that required me to ask for forgiveness from my God and savior.
I have been a poor follower of Christ as well as a poor husband and father.
In August, God finally put His foot down and made me face up to my sin.
It was hard, being made to face front and have to confess my sin to both God and my family.
Now it is a great comfort to know that He both forgave me and forgot the sin.
I have tried hard to earn the forgiveness of my wife and my family.
I hope that I have earned it.
God knows that I try every day to be a better husband and father than the day before. I don't always meet the mark, but I am trying.

Eventually, I have to be able to forgive myself and try to leave the regret behind.
That's not so easily done.
Forgiveness of myself aside, regret is a near constant companion. We are bitter soulmates and it stabs me deeply every time I see my son struggle with his problems, hear my daughters ask why they can't do this or get that, and especially when I see my beautiful wife attempt to deal with her medical issues while working so hard at the day-to-day family things.

Those are the tmes that regret is like being forced to your knees, a tire shoved over your shoulders, being doused with gasoline and set on fire.
You want to scream why and look at who is doing this to you, only to see yourself holding the gas can and the match.

God is great, and I am thankful.