At least one-third of
the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to
speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike
self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams.
Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories
of real people, Quiet shows
how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Susan
Cain draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal
the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts.
Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful introverts--from a
witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to
a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions.
This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see
introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.
I wasn’t quite sure what caused me to select this book;
possibly to be a change from what I usually read. Whatever the cause, I’m glad
I did select it. After reading the first few chapters, I remarked to my wife
that I thought I might be an introvert. Her exact word in response was, “Duh!”
Ms. Cain has written a book that would be beneficial
for nearly everyone to read – well maybe not extrovert types, but certainly
parents in regards to their children and even employers to give insight on some
of their employees. From the research indicating that high-reactive children
are more prone to be introverts to the phenomenon of high-sensitivity to free
trait theory, Cain gives us a fairly thorough look at introversion, one that
you might be more prone to find in a very thick and very hard to read text.
The book itself is full of little nuggets that that are
like matchbox cars finding your feet in the dark of your child’s room – a painful
surprise that lends itself to an often pleasant discovery. In Chapter 11, “On
Cobblers and Generals,” Ms. Cain touches on bringing out the most of a “quiet”
child. We get introduced to Isabel and her mother. A mother worried about her
daughter wanting to spend time alone, a daughter who deals with her needs as an
introvert. We also meet teacher LouAnne Johnson (played by Michelle Pfeiffer in
the movie Dangerous Minds) who is skilled at working with shy children. She
gives some advice that many teachers would do well to take to heart when
dealing with shy (introverted) children.
·
Don’t think of introversion as something that
needs to be cured.
·
Balance teaching methods.
·
Many introverts have one or two deep interests
– praise them for those interests.
·
Group work is beneficial, but should be
done in pairs or groups of three.
·
Teach kids to work independently.
And there are others as well as advice for parents.
Chapter Two (The Myth of Charismatic Leadership) hit
home with me in the section of the chapter titled, “Does God Love Introverts?
An Evangelical’s Dilemma.”
Cain recounts her meeting with a pastor dealing with
being an introvert in a calling that seems to be tailor made for an extrovert.
The pastor related that while he felt god about making time for himself, being
active in evangelicalism began to make him believe that God disapproved of his
choices and of him. His explanation is that the culture of the evangelical
church ties faithfulness to extroversion, emphasizing community and
participating more and more in programs and events.
Cain meets this pastor at Saddleback Church (he isn’t
on staff there), and relates how the service is typical of most evangelical
services, focusing on greeting, talking and singing, not so much on quiet or
contemplation.
This next paragraph from the book essentially sums up
some of my issues, many of which I struggled with while working at a church.
Cain writes, “Evangelicalism has taken the Extrovert Ideal to its logical
extreme, McHugh is telling us. If you don’t love Jesus out loud, then it must
not be real love. It’s not enough to forge your own spiritual connection to the
divine, it must be displayed publicly.
Is it any wonder that introverts like Pastor McHugh start to question their own
hearts?”
My dilemma exactly. I’ve been questioned by my wife
about the depth of my walk with Christ because I’m not demonstrative enough.
Needless to say, she’s an extrovert.
This book is an excellent look at the subject of
introversion and I would recommend it wholeheartedly. I’ve learned a number of
things about myself and from reading the book I made myself take a Myers-Briggs
personality test and found that I am an INTJ. I was heartened when I saw the
list of famous individuals who have the same profile:
Susan
B. Anthony
Lance Armstrong
Arthur Ashe, tennis champion
Augustus Caesar (Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus)
Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)
Dan Aykroyd (The Blues Brothers)
William J. Bennett, "drug czar"
William F. Buckley, Jr.
Raymond Burr (Perry Mason, Ironsides)
Rudy Giuliani, former New York City mayor
Emily Bronte, author of Wuthering Heights
Angela Lansbury (Murder, She Wrote)
Charles Everett Koop
C. S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia)
Edwin Moses, U.S. Olympian (hurdles)
Martina Navratilova
Michelle Obama
General Colin Powell, former US Secretary of State
Donald Rumsfeld, former US Secretary of Defense
Hillary Clinton, US Secretary of State
U.S. Presidents:
Chester
A. Arthur
Calvin
Coolidge
Thomas
Jefferson
John
F. Kennedy
James
K. Polk
Woodrow
Wilson
I was provided this book by
Waterbrook-Multnomah free of charge in return for an unbiased and honest
review. I normally donate these books to my church library,
but this one is a keeper to read again and find more of those nuggets sticking
into my bare feet.
